South Africa, somewhere in the wilderness near Thabazimbi

South Africa, somewhere in the wilderness near Thabazimbi

Being brave.

Taking leaps.

Jumping into the unknown.

Basically what I have been always doing and I am grateful it has brought me to where I am now. At the same time when you are conscious of the fact you are responsible for everything in your life, these big leaps might just sometimes be so much to handle and spinning too much might make you faint. I now acknowledge how much importance has trying to stay in control while loosing control. How important it is to build a good foundation in a new relationship while at the same time all you want to do is sink into the other person and become one. How important it is to communicate what you feel to keep a reminder you are doing the best you can while dealing with every new situation.

So I try.

I am doing my best.

I am trying to integrate every step and observe what is happening at the same time.

This time I have the tool to achieve harmony, balance, pure love and respect in the relationship mainly with myself first. This time I know how important it is to love myself first through this all to be able to love unconditionally. So be brave, take leaps and let your heart guide you. At the same time connect always to yourself and prioritise what you feel to clean the flow for energy to combine in a pure way. I love love. I am in love with falling in love. This time I am here to integrate it, appreciate it, be aware of it happening. I learned about my reality being only my reflection and I will work for this new reality to be a damn great one. I am here now. I am no longer running away. I am floating on the flow of life. I believe and want to believe. And all is happening the way it is supposed to. And in every situation there is a gift to be learned. We are here for the gift of experiencing different feelings and integrating them for what they are without judging them.


Life is happening all the time. I read somewhere that all you need to do is a new situations is to realise, not to actively do something. It makes all the sense. All we really can do is realise how we want to feel and from there we implement new thoughts and this will soon project into our reality.


The hardest part of changing is to allow the change. The way it actually works is that you can plan and want everything but until you are ready to feel and live it, it just doesn’t become your truth. Everything you believe becomes your truth. You are no other than anyone else out there. We all are terrified, angry, mad, sad, happy, harmonious, unbalanced, broken in a way and whole at the same time. This is the world of polarity where each situation has two sides, but is neutral as a whole. Only you are in charge of your own life. Only you can have it all. There is no one coming to give you anything. You must believe it belongs to you. You must be ready for accepting it even though its just an illusion at the same time. 


So I am in South Africa now. I allowed myself to start a new phase of life. I decided I want to be free. I decided I want to be surrounded by people that believe in me, support me and lift me up when I am down. I am no longer accepting life for what it seems to be but I am taking it for what it can be. I am absolutely in charge. I know that now. All I send out is coming back. I am choosing to give myself and this world love. This love is unconditional and limitless. Through this love I know I am creating a better world. A better world for myself. And for everyone who choses to be a part of it. I no longer want to pretend I am fine when I am not. I no longer want to be there for everyone but myself. This time I am allowing this change. Slowly. But for real. It all starts with me and no-one will do it for me. I am capable to see even if it will still take me a while sometimes. I have gone a long way up to here. I am deeply grateful. I now am grateful that I chose to live when I could have gone. I no loner want to stay silent. Silence angers me for a reason. It was not safe for me to speak up until now. I wasn’t ready and blamed the world for the situations in my life. Now that I know only I am in charge of this anger I know I can use it for spreading love and kindness. For forgiving and living to the maximum. I chose not to be close to death anymore but close to full life and experiencing moments to the maximum. I am taking all life is offering me. I no longer hide behind punishing myself and making myself sick. I am not going to eat myself alive anymore. I respect myself so much more. I am here for me now. And only writing this to you, because you can do the same for you. No one is coming. You are already there. I was just maybe sent here to remind you of that. To let you know that the feeling of intuition you have inside you is the only truth. That the feeling you deserve better is there for you to have it all. That in any moment when you are ready, that only in the now you can turn your life around. That life is here for you. That life will give you everything you believe you should have. That you are free to have it all. That you are in charge. That it all starts with your mind and from there magic of the world will happen on its own. Start believing in everything. Understand there is infinity of possibilities. Understand you can have it all. Understand the world is waiting for you to create it and right now it is the way you already created it for yourself. Be ready to open up all of your truths you believed and understand they might be lies. And to open up everything you thought is not possible for you and replace it with the infinity of possibilities. You came to this world to have it all, you are only wasting your own time by believing otherwise.


How paradox is the fact that we tend to think we want to work less but the moment we have the time, we immediately feel bad about not working and doing. You came here to be a human being so all you are supposed to do is to be. Just allow yourself to be today.


I found myself in a magical paradise somewhere in the middle of nowhere. These past two weeks already feel like moths. Time just moves differently here. With no signal and internet but many situations life presented me to learn from. I am deeply grateful I allowed myself this opportunity of time in this fast life I was leading. I am in gratitude for allowing myself to believe there is more love and kindness to life than I could believe and to making all of this manifest in my life. I am scared. I still get angry and frustrated. But this time this is a part of getting further and deeper into the flow of life. Closer at every step to everything I could dream of. While at the same time realising I am exactly where I need to and want to be right now. 


I love you all, really.

I can’t wait for this new exciting chapter

Take good care


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